Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Raised Red Mark On My Face

patient. Part I




The intended patient (the example of a young, really young teenager)


Step 1: You have to have the evening to prepare well for the next morning.
For example: After dinner, we edited a few times in the stomach. Pained expression as the locus when you pressed a croissant from the most ass. Thus, the mummy, however, not entered on the Schalips feel and is sympathetic, you have to meet her several times with sugar-sweet singing voice following sentence: "Neeeeiiiin, the food was schmackofatzioes, Muttilein is because it does not. Something is in the school in circulation "

Step 1 ½:. You have to be directly min 20th go to the food on the bowl and close the door. 2 min. After sitting on the glasses, one begins to mourn the following mantra: "Ooohhjeeeee Ohhhjeeee, Uuuuuhhhh, Auweiiiiooohhweiii. Mhhhhhmmm. Then, licking his Elbeuge pretty wet and pressed his lips against it and a personalized Pups with thunderous finish.

Step 2: man must not overdo it. Although it is fun and tickles. Pops 3-4 boards are fully sufficient to support the clinical picture.

Step 3: You have to bye straight to the toilet experience with the following words in great profusion and distorted face into the bed: "I have a roped was necessary. Sorry. Give min the window about 20 minutes. the gas chamber air out. I'll beat 'me out. Nightingales "

. Step 4: You have to stay awake half the night, so that one morning seems pretty pale. Tip: read a book under the covers angeknippst with the pocket lamp. Otherwise you spoil the Glubscher Oh, wait a minute. That was 15 years. Sorry, my mistake. So please put on the iPad brightest and surf the Internet. Children who modern time bothers me.

Step 5: You have before mom comes in 30 min. remain under the ceiling and breathe deeply. Just before the mom comes in at a low stretch to raise for the school has to his head and as soon as possible to the point before all the work was in vain: "Mom feel out my face, I'm hot. Am I pale? I'm feeling still very miserable "

. Step 6: After the mom checked the front has and says "Come get up once to try and make you ready. If it does not work, you just come back home, "it must be said, in tears:" Mommy, that's not, I have terrible bloating and my tail on fire as a thousand suns. You blamierst me before the whole school and then because I can never even go there. . Let me, at least at home today "

Step 7: You have MORE HOWL!

Step 8: You have the permission to home sob remain, "Thank you Mom, you're the best. I will also call Anja and ask for the homework. But now I must sleep for now. I'm dog-tired "

Step 9. One has to question whether one would necessarily say no hunger. Otherwise you're sitting in math classes faster than you think. Mom can namely in contrast to the YES-men 1 and 1 are already together.

Step 10: You have from time to time moaning to himself and more often in the mirror palace walk and repeat step 1 ½ and step 2. Disregard makes you look untrustworthy. There is not the most massive marches by without having a fleet of gasoline has tie you to the throne.

Step 11: You have nothing out of the refrigerator or other storage areas to eat when the mom and you go shopping alone in the house. Residues at the mouth can reveal one, as well as a well-organized mother, which the number of bread slices, sausage slices, amount of butter in the butter dish or the quantity of the glass as their Gewürzgürkchen Pocket knows.

Step 12: You have to stand for 12h, approximately by 19 clock, with half-lowered pajama pants in the Kuechentuer and cried.

Step 13: You have to ask not "Why?".

Step 14: You must leave the kitchen without a word and as you continue sobbing slowly pull up their pants and disappear in his room.

Step 15: You have to wonder whether all this is worth or whether a day at school is not much less stressful.

Step 16: You have to answer the question with a YES if you want to stay another day at home.

Step 17: You have to answer the question "NO" if you will even scary, and we so slow to believe the mind to lose.

Step 18: You need to make a quick decision between steps 16 and 17 before the excited mom enters the room to ask what is going on.

Step 19: answer

I) In the case of step 17, the one his mother with the following sentence: " I do not know. It's all about. Can not think straight. Think losing too much fluid. Must sleep. Can I have a glass of coke and salt sticks have? Surely there is something better then me and I can return to school tomorrow.
II) In the case of step 16, you have to answer to his mother only with the following sentence (after a long break and strenuous disoriented expression: "Why is (groan) Was what?" (This guarantee a disturbing answer is another day in bed, however, brought with the risk of the mom and dad to the emergency room to be)

step 20. One must also eventually sleep again. Especially when you have chosen option 17, because tomorrow is the day of release by 7 clock.
one step, however, has chosen 16, good luck sleeping, because the stomach is empty. But do not worry, so the patient does the easier tomorrow!





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